British Foreign Secretary William Hague has criticised his countrymen who waste the time of consular staff with ludicrous requests and bizarre demands while abroad.
He says they included a caller who lost their false teeth and a tourist asking how to say "I love you" in Hungarian.
A Briton in Greece struggling to erect a chicken coop also called, as did people who were unhappy with their plastic surgery and whose jam would not set.
Mr Hague was speaking at the launch of a crisis centre in London to help British nationals in difficulty abroad.