2 Sep 2015

What a pig! Kermit moves on

12:27 pm on 2 September 2015

After four plushy decades together, Miss Piggy and Kermit called it quits last month.

Denise and Kermit

A candid shot of Kermit and his new lady pig. Photo: Supplied

Twitter was aflutter with rumours of infidelity, there were whisperings of a sex addiction on Jesse Mulligan's afternoon show, and the world wondered whether true love was achievable for anyone. If they couldn't make it, what hope did we have?

But exclusive new photos suggest that frog-about-town Kermit is back on the horse, so to speak, with the candid shots showing him peering googly-eyed at a new pig.

While many assumed that Miss Piggy had given Kermit the chop, the real cause of the pair's split appears to be Denise.

Miss Piggy was always the heavyweight of the former couple: more charismatic, more porcine, more unquashable. Kermit could well feel more powerful with a younger, less experienced model.

Denise (who, sources say, works in marketing) is svelter, younger and - to put it bluntly - perhaps less of a threat to Kermit's ego than feminist icon Miss Piggy, who has variously played Wonder Pig, been the editor of Paris Vogue, and performed a tumultuous duet with Dolly Parton.

It may not be easy being green - but it's harder still being replaced. Our hearts go out to Miss Piggy - though a recent twitter post suggests she may not need the support. (No comment as yet as to whether Kermit was one of the millions with an Ashley Madison account.)