It's the question that most exercises the minds of parents and whanau of transgender loved ones - What does the future look like for them now that they have come out?
In reality, no one knows what the future holds. But Aych McArdle, a Rainbow and disability advocate, dreams of a time when being trans is just boring and 'normal'.
Joseph Stockhausen with Aych McArdle Photo: Supplied
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After being knocked off their bike Aych was left with a traumatic brain injury which still affects them today. Their journey through the New Zealand healthcare system was an eye-opener into the challenges faced when you're transgender and disabled.
"One of the most traumatic days of my life, I'm having to retell that story over and over again," said Aych, "And then to also be misgendered and not having rehab that really honours who I am as a human being, was incredibly distressing."
While the healthcare system should be a safe place, it is a busy and complicated place too. You can help your young person navigate these spaces with simple things like making sure the paperwork correctly identifies them so they are not misgendered at every appointment.
Trans lives Photo: Sabrina Hea (she/her) @beebsbubs
Aych wants to just be a really boring person. They don't want to have to be a paralympian or extraordinary to be seen has having a life worth living.
“We need to shift and change narratives of what it is like to be disabled in Aotearoa, what it’s like to be trans in Aotearoa, so that those who love and support us actually have a more realistic understanding of what our lives are like.”
Aych said if whanau only saw positive stories, their vision for what their child's life could be, would be positive.
It is important that parents do not just focus on the potential barriers, as what may seem like a massive deal now will probably just end up being a complete non issue.
Earlier in the season we met Chris and Joe and their daughter Jet. When Jet was approaching the age of 5 they started to worry about what would happen when she started school.
After they met with the principal and teachers of their local school it quickly became apparent their fears and worry were for nothing.
“The principal was amazing," said Jo, "She was just like, Jet will be a girl. She is a girl in every regard and the rest is her private business.”
Legally changing your gender can be time-consuming and tedious, but Joe has some tips for making the process run more smoothly, like changing your name BEFORE going through the legal process of changing your gender.
Luka, who recently changed his name, said to expect to continue getting mail in your old name for a while.
"It's amazing. A couple of years after, things you forgot you have subscriptions, things you have signed up to at some stage turn up."
Useful Links
Gender Minorities Aotearoa - Study and Schools: Resources on studying and school environments for transgender people in Aotearoa NZ.
Transgender and Intersex NZ Facebook Group: A NZ-based facebook community group for transgender and intersex individuals to share information and support.
RainbowYOUTH: RainbowYOUTH's social groups all around NZ for queer youth between the ages 13-28
GenderbridgeNZ: A private Facebook Group for gender diverse kiwis to share current events and news
NZ Trans Guys: A Facebook Group for trans masculine individuals to share support, information, milestones, and events. For membership email the admins: nztg@gmail.com
You can also find more information on the Let's Be TRANSparent website
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Or email us at joseph@transparentpodcast.nz
Let's Be TRANSparent was made by Motuihe Group for RNZ
Photo: Supplied
