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Healing from narcissist people, a guide

19 Mar 2024

It's all charm and seduction at the start of a relationship with a narcissist. But then comes the manipulation and gaslighting says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University who works with survivors of narcissistic abuse and has personal experience with them too. She says… Audio

Tuesday 19 March 2024

Available Audio (8)

1:15 Efforts to save the Tinwald pool 

The Ashburton District Council has proposed closing the Tinwald Community Pool - despite protests from residents in the area.

One of them is Myshell Box, who's lived in Tinwald for over 35 years, and was previously involved with the pool's committee.

The Ashburton District Council say the pipes beneath the pool are leaking and it will cost 3 million dollars to fix.

But locals are questioning why their beloved pool has been allowed to get into such a state of disrepair leaving the only options being a costly repair or a full closure.  

The leaky Tinwald Pool will remain closed this summer.

The leaky Tinwald Pool will remain closed this summer. Photo: Jonathan Leask/Ashburton Guardian

1:25 Aotearoa's first electric hydro-foiling ferry to operate on Lake Manapouri

New Zealand's first electric hydro-foiling ferry will soon be gracing the waters of Lake Manapouri.

Meridian Energy has signed a deal with Swedish company Candela, and is the first customer outside Europe.

The ferry will replace the diesel one which transports Meridian staff and contractors to the country's largest hydro power station.

Great South strategic projects manager Steve Canny MNZM talks to Jesse.

Meridian Energy's electric hydro-foiling ferry, the Swedish-designed Candela P-12, will go into service next year.

Meridian Energy's electric hydro-foiling ferry, the Swedish-designed Candela P-12, will go into service next year. Photo: Supplied

1:35 The loss of learning languages, what it means

In Australia Sydney's Macquarie University has a proposal to stop teaching five languages.

Foreign language learning at universities is are risk of declining, but is still reported to be an essential component of diplomatic and intelligence tool kits.

Geoffrey Miller wrote a piece in The Conversation on the geopolitical risks of declining foreign language learning,

Geoffrey is a PhD candidate in Politics at the University of Otago, he speaks to Jesse.

Languages Photo:

1:45 Tech Tuesday with Tim Warren

For Tech Tuesday commentator and Ambit AI founder Tim Warren is back to talk about scams and technology.

2:10 Book Critic: Catherine Ross

Today Mt Roskill Grammar school library manager Catherine Ross talks to Jesse not just about her book recommendations but also shares her thoughts on the declining literacy rates in Aotearoa.

Catherine's passionate about getting young people to read as much as possible and shared her thoughts with Read NZ recently.

Today in addition to her views on how to improve our literacy rates Catherine reviews the following books:

For ages 10+

The Night Bus Hero by Onjali Q.Rauf

Where the Wilderness Lives by Jess Butterworth

For ages 11+

Shadow by Michael Morgurgo

For ages 13+

Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall

No caption

Photo: Supplied

2:20 Update on Oz with Brad Foster

In Adelaide today, Brad Foster reports on the current debate on whether nuclear power is the answer to Australia reducing its reliance on fossil fuels for energy consumption.

He also reports on a win for aged care workers, the court appearance of the 59-year-old Hunter Valley bus driver charged with the manslaughter of 10 passengers, women's soccer, and Uber's record payout to taxi drivers. 

This frame grab taken from video footage provided by the Australian Broadcast Corporation (ABC) on 12 June, 2023 via AFPTV shows the site of a bus crash, where 10 people from a wedding party were killed, in Cessnock, in Australia's Hunter wine region north of Sydney.

This frame grab taken from video footage provided by the Australian Broadcast Corporation (ABC) on 12 June, 2023 via AFPTV shows the site of a bus crash, where 10 people from a wedding party were killed, in Cessnock, in Australia's Hunter wine region north of Sydney. Photo: AFP PHOTO / ABC

2:30 Music feature: Bob Marley with Tigilau Ness

This week's music feature is all about the son of Jamaica and global symbol of reggae Bob Marley and his outsized influence on the music scene despite his untimely death.

His distinctive vocals and songwriting style also saw him become an Rastafarian icon, infusing his music with a political and spiritual message.

Taking a deep-dive into Marley's discography today is Aotearoa's own activist and music legend, Polynesian Panther Tigilau Ness.

Bob Marley, Jamaican music legend (6 February 1945 – 11 May 1981)

Bob Marley, Jamaican music legend (6 February 1945 – 11 May 1981) Photo: Bob Marley

3:10 Healing from narcissist people, a guide

It's all charm and seduction at the start of a relationship with a narcissist.

But then comes the manipulation and gaslighting says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University who works with survivors of narcissistic abuse and has personal experience with them too. 

She says narcissists rarely change, so people in relationships with them need to learn about self-protection, setting boundaries and trusting your own instincts.

Her new book is called  It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.

It's Not You book cover

It's Not You book cover Photo: supplied

3:30 Spoken Feature: BBC Witness

On 7 February 1964, an unusual delivery was made to a synagogue in London.

More than 1,500 Torah scrolls, lost since the end of World War Two, were arriving from Czechoslovakia.

The sacred Jewish texts had belonged to communities destroyed by the Nazis.

Alex Strangwayes-Booth talks to 91-year-old Philippa Bernard about the emotional charge of that day.

Philippa beside the scrolls in Westminster Synagogue

Philippa beside the scrolls in Westminster Synagogue Photo: BBC

3:45 The pre-Panel